Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Local Joke: Anyone, Someone, Every...

Just a Local Singapore Joke ...

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
For the sake of Non-Singaporean readers who may not be familiar with 'Singlish', local culture & lingo, please let me fill you in a little. Singaporeans like to have a Christian or English Name followed by their Surname. Being an innovative lot, they even invent their own English Names. For instance, if he has a very common name like Tan Ah Seng, he will be called by his second and last name, 'Ah Seng'. If he doesn't like the name, he will 'baptise himself' and give himself a nickname, say, Brandon or "Helldon" followed by his surname "Tan". So, there you have it - he is know know as "Helldon Tan".

Tips: Never give your children unfamiliar or 'out of this world' names or your children could end up having to answer these questions...FOR LIFE !!!: 'Hellden' what?, I am sorry I didn't catch your name, can you please repeat that name again or can you please spell your name, etc etc.

Talking about names makes me recall one name which I shall never forget. This is the name to beat all names and seriously, it is not a joke. I happened to stumbled onto it. Here goes - His NAME is CAESAREAN WAN (surname has been changed, in case I get sued) and you know what? He is a gynaecologist. This guy must have fulfilled his parents' dream of him becoming a gynaecologist when he grew up, huh!!! So here is another tip to all mothers-to-be or mothers wannabe: if you want (or rather dream) your son to be the future President, then name him "President" and your dream will come true ....hehehe.

Ok, enough of what's in a name. Here goes this 'localised' joke I received from a true-blue Singaporean friend who incidentally don't have an English Name.

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? ( anyone)

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan ( someone) and I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan ( no one ) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then
the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't
have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

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